I’ve grown to hate my landline,
I dread each time it rings.
It’s never Eve or Mildred…
It’s people flogging things

Or conmen trying to trick me,
Or saying: “Your laptop’s slow”
Or kidding me their survey
Will improve my status quo

The preference scheme is useless,
It doesn’t stop the calls
And if you tell me otherwise
I’ll know you’re talking rubbish.