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Chelsea First Team

  • No whitewash, no blue rinse

    No whitewash, no blue rinse0

    With everyone confidently predicting a one-sided whitewash – or possibly a blue rinse – from Manchester City against the Chelsea team they had thrashed 6-0 just a fortnight ago, this Carabao Cup Final was a surprise. A largely dull surprise, but still a surprise. That Chelsea held on for the whole of normal time and

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  • Blues have a flare for it

    Blues have a flare for it0

    Chelsea were glad to see the back of Malmo. It’s a cultural thing; their culture is to light alarming flares, filling the stadium with smoke. Heaven only knows where they hid them, but in a concerted show of defiance at the start of the second half of this curious Europa Cup Round of 32 second-leg

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  • Sacked in the morning?

    Sacked in the morning?0

    It isn’t a question of if, but when. In a week bookended by defeats at the hands of Manchester clubs (after all, nobody gives Chelsea a prayer at Wembley in Sunday’s League Cup final), the walls are closing in on Morrie Sarri. ‘The man with no Plan B’ will be etched on his tombstone after

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  • Wanted: manager

    Wanted: manager0

    Wanted. Manager. No previous silverware necessary. Must be willing to work for £5million per year, plus generous cigarette allowance. Tracksuits and trainers are provided (you will go through several pairs of trainers, pacing back and forward – but mainly backwards). The successful candidate must supply his own hair dye after the stock of Auburn Sunset

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  • Yo-yo Chelsea turn it on

    Yo-yo Chelsea turn it on0

    Having been marmalized in midweek by Bournemouth, Chelsea continued their yo-yoing displays with a comprehensive 5-0 victory over lowly Huddersfield at the Bridge. Even ‘Mr Motivator’ – Morrie Sarri – looked pleased with the display by the time ref Paul Tierney blew the final whistle. Having cold-shouldered his squad by refusing to travel back to

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  • A Cherry bad performance

    A Cherry bad performance0

    The arrival of loan striker (and, seemingly, lone striker) Gonzalo Higuain, and the departure of Alvaro Morata, should fill Chelsea fans with hope. The 31-year-old Argentine started encouragingly enough in the FA Cup… but beating one Wednesday was followed by miserable defeat on another Wednesday as the Blues caved in at Bournemouth. Playing in curious

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