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  • Wrong Number0

    I’ve grown to hate my landline, I dread each time it rings. It’s never Eve or Mildred… It’s people flogging things Or conmen trying to trick me, Or saying: “Your laptop’s slow” Or kidding me their survey Will improve my status quo The preference scheme is useless, It doesn’t stop the calls And if you

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  • The Vital Cup0

    We clutch our coffee cups to us As if they hold our very soul, We grasp them, grip them, cling to them And cart them everywhere we stroll We sip from them, we swig from them, We carry them on bus and train, And yet when we have emptied them Our attitude is inhumane We

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  • Reclaim the Streets0

    It’s always so impressive when Our old town pulls together. A tribute to the volunteers (thank heavens for the weather). How lovely would be Surbiton Without the motor cars, A peaceful, tranquil throwback… or was that Life on Mars?

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  • Off Your Trolley0

    I love forgotten shopping lists On trolleys lined for duty. Tomatoes, peas and chocolate, Eggs, cheese. Get something fruity! Remember Molly’s birthday, and The loo roll needs replacing Potatoes (small) and sausages, Turn left and then you’re facing Cos Madge is coming round tonight (You know she likes a schooner) Oh… parsley (flat) and lemons,

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  • The Orphans0

    Remember the orphans abandoned in shops: A packet of pasta, a jar of rollmops Stray packs and jars litter the space by the tills; An unripe banana, a packet of pills A small bag of bangers – were they meant for tea? A carton of ricecakes (they’re calorie-free) The scanner goes bip-bip, the shopper’s away,

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  • Ode to a Tower0

    Stands the clock at five past three And are there sausages for tea? This tower deserves some real respect, A place to pause, admire, reflect It took six years to build the beaut (they had a job to raise the loot), 1908 it was unveiled, The burghers of the town exhaled And ever since it’s

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